Articles like this somehow try to push me into thinking that I am imagining things, that I’m just too critical to myself and shouldn’t blame myself like that (paradoxically blaming me by that more than I blame myself :D) but nope, I don’t think there’s anything wrong with me or my way of thinking. I don’t feel like writing out the whole story but it left me feeling broken and hopeless. Copyright © 2020 Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen. Now my inner voice is just affirming what I already know. I am 50 years old, a successful healthcare professional and still feel like that worthless little girl. But I then I developed that guilt & regret & stupid& sorrow toward myself & how I am made to feel. I do love myself a lot. I’m just not sure if I care or not. I feel like women don’t like me much. I could identify with some of the things in this article. There waiting for you and will give you 100% unconditional love. Just keep looking for one another. I lost everything to a marriage like this including my loved ones, my health, my mind, and my ability to work. And if ur thinking this can’t b, that your love could never be a monster, thats exactly what they are designed to make u think. How everyone snubbed the unfortunate person because it was uncool to befriend them? I think they don’t want to hear of my illness because I was always strong and no longer am. For instance, to build a happy family, family members must experience deep affection, loyalty, and a healthy attachment. I will have compassion for myself. i will actually go round folk when im having a bad day and ask them if i have done anything to annoy them . I’m tired of wasting my energy on people who clearly don’t deserve it. I’m fortunate enough to join a group, but it’s not as if I’m so relevant that they’d look for me when I’m missing. Some of my white friends excluded me because they knew my parents were black. my mother has done the exact same thing to me and my son! I think it is because while they r annoying, they are real, alive, and connecting with others. But I also think it’s much more complex than this lays it out to be. Is that where I belong?”. I’ve been told that people are just to busy to make new friends. I give and receive love by thinking and talking deeply about our hearts, spirits, and souls. A belief is a thought that we’ve been attaching to, often for years.”. In my twenties and thirties, I discovered my sibling and parents had been on vacations without me. I even try on line dating even though it’s against my principals. Unexpected forms of love, in surprising ways, from different sources. It’s built out of any hurtful negative attitudes that we were exposed to in childhood, especially from significant caretakers. There were functions happening & third parties would make me aware of them after the fact, as why I wasn’t there which made me look like I wasn’t interested. Then you’ll have a better understanding of how you feel loved and what makes you feel wanted. I tried several groups before I found one I liked. I avoid mirrors as much as possible and rarely go out without make-up on because of my acne. I’ve been there but it didn’t stop with just one person. Step away from your emotions; take hold of the wisdom of the Holy Spirit. I’ve tried everything, but I just really don’t know what’s so unlikeable about me. I’ve reached out repeatedly and tried to spend time with them over a prolonged period of time, but…nothing. There are lots of people who gravitate toward each other for reasons that may be mysterious even to themselves. If a man says or thinks your ugly doesn’t mean you are ugly, it just means he can’t appreciate your beauty just then. I pray that you are well. 5 Ways to Survive the Healing Process, How to Stop Loving Someone Who Doesn’t Deserve Your Love, When You Find Out About Your Husband’s Affair After His Death, 7 Practical Examples of Trusting and Following Your Intuition, Comfort and Healing After Your Husband Leaves You for Another Woman, Accepting the End of a Relationship You Wish Wasn’t Over. Thanks again. I’m stuck. I had to force myself to continue reading it at a point because the voice said this isn’t going to do you any good and it is too thick for you. I may do it today as reading all the comments has been powerfully insightful and helpful and tear-jerking and heart-warming! My mom always adored my brother more than me. Share your feelings with a family friend, a teacher, or acquaintance who's good at listening. I am only 48 but entirely left alone . This got really bad to the point where I was even violently attacked. They haven’t called to check on me. My mom to has always hated me & treated me very poorly. They will get worse. Wow. It had gotten to where I don’t get bothered by it too much anymore bc I spend most of my time with my child. There are five important steps to overcoming this inner critic. Maybe, “I’m lonely” is just something some people say. “Your experience about being in/out of foster homes and your family background is encouraging,” says Dora on “I have had a tough childhood with abandonment, alcoholism, abuse, etc. Well my dad favors my youngest sister and my mom favors my second youngest sister. If someone is experiencing feelings of depression, anxiety, loneliness or social isolation, it can be extremely beneficial to seek therapy. I really think the world will be like that for some people, and it’s okay. I suffer from loneliness as well but feel that I am getting better over the years. As an adult my efforts at friendship haven’t faired much better. The family. My father was alcoholic and he never bothered much in family life. In addition a GOOD B complex…one a day is very important too as the Bs work synergistically. I could tell you other stories where my good intentions have been misconstrued and where I have been called selfish and all these events have left me feeling worthless. These are known as Toxic people! A Way Out of Loneliness: How to Feel Less Isolated and AloneLength: 90 MinutesPrice: FreeOn-Demand WebinarsWatch Now:  Learn about the psychological roots of loneliness Overcome the critical inner voice that perpetuates feelings of isolation Challenge the psychological defenses that limit…Learn More A woman who’s never been there for me yes has always brought sadness to me & makes me wonder how a mom could be that way!?! Having a great job will not make you a happy person.If you are lonely without money,trust me you will be lonely with money…But loneliness is just a state of mind..You can be lonely in a room full of people and you can be happy alone as well. Why does no body ever message me and ask how I’m doing? How do you get over this voice when you have generalized anxiety disorder because I have tried but it leads to anxiety attacks. I snail mailed many things to this person, sometimes weekly, all went unanswered. I have done numerous things and made some casual friends. We can notice the times it seeps in and tampers with the filter through which we see ourselves and the world around us. I would like adult company sometimes. My Wife Loves Me but Doesn't Desire Me: Wife Not Interested In Intimacy. I read an article that says if you look at ppl coming towards you in the eye they will move, it seemed to work. I live alone and, outside of work, no one speaks to me, calls/texts me, or visits me. I felt as an outcast all my life since I turned six years old. No one wants to me around a loser.like me. Just recently after all these years of my father not being in my life I just found out that he committed suicide a couple of years back and it has also made me deal with myself a lot because many years of negative through will take you to a very bad place. Any good ideas I’ve ever had, someone else was given the credit for them. Sometimes I feel I was meant to be born on another planet in another galaxy, where I fit in perfectly and other people “get me” and like me. i am in the same bote, i feel alone, no one likes me and i stay clear from social events just cause i have already decided that they will not like me anyway. I don’t like to get out into crowds alone or go to church alone. Yes it does. Look up the “self-fulfilling prophecy” its quite interesting. I have a really broken view of myself and I can now see how it has affected my relationship with other people. :)), Where and how do you find no friends? Why are you sad Misster? Obviously I would and have done anything for them. And what is going on here? I try hard not to beat myself up, but it’s tough. no matter how much I try to be kind, fair, loyal.. and plain good, I seem to come out on the other side on my own. Required fields are marked *, The Latest The Challenge of Receiving “Until we can receive with an open heart, we are never really giving with…. For what its worth…Try with all your loving might to see yourself through the eyes of someone who loves you and respects you…that person is first and foremost YOU. Reading this article gave me a degree of separation from my inner critic. My band is Annie and 45. Everything we are thinking is based on how everyone else treats us. Hans. Having said that, if people need help and advice I am willing to offer it, but if the advice sought is of an emotional nature, I’ll be a completely practical and logical reply, probably because I’m not one of those ‘touchy-feely’ types of people with a wealth of interacting with other people to draw on and base my considered responses upon. It is like no fight can be so small that he won’t try to get even with me. Wow!!! You just cant make others care for you and like you or love you unconditionally from heart…you may be most brightest generous charming successful but you cant make others like you…being liked and loved is a gift ,it cant be achieved, It’s not that everyone ignores me (sometimes it feels that way too though) it’s just the fact that I NEVER go out and am stir crazy everyday (I’m home-schooled) it sucks because my parents are such homebodies it’s sickining, even with my sister driving she doesn’t go anywhere ever!! I never told myself “no one likes”. I have never had therapy and I personally don’t do drugs of any kind. In other words, we may be far more likely to notice the one time someone doesn’t invite us out versus the five times they did. Unfortunately it seems that the more you give to a loved one the more they take, the less you ask for the less they give to you. I recently found out that I am on the autism spectrum, high functioning, what used to be called asberger syndrome. I don’t know why though. I’ve given up now. This is a free hotline available 24 hours a day to anyone in emotional distress or suicidal crisis. No one wanted to know why I did some things. BULL$%^#. I have constant hate from my family. It entails genuine love and care. Eventually my mood just shifts and throws me off track, and i spiral down again. Someone who will listen to you without judgement. I don’t demand things of others so maybe that’s it. But it ends there. I totally relate to your post. You will find your tribe hanging out in the same places that you like (libraries, museums, galleries, etc.). In life I can’t tell anyone I started to tell some about my problem then she made a joke. Why Do So Many People Respond Negatively to Being Loved? GYmming etc etc… It will make u feel better…I did that myself…And always keep one thing in mind that LIFE IS NOT GOING TO REMAIN AS IT IS NOW, it will most certainly change…May god bless u…and i think like ur name, ur smile also wud be so cute.take care and help another soul. I was one of those victims. It hurt badly and it cut deeply. Then I chose to be not so helpful, give money to never get paid back, just see who people really are and it’s hard to find good people. But if her kids did or didn’t do something it wasn’t them to blame it was their kids. When people write down or say their voices out loud, they sometimes have insight into where these mean thoughts originated. Unless all that obvious exclusion and unwilingness to speak to me is just an act of covert love, in that case, excuse me for being so silly to think otherwise. I even pray i wasn’t alive. What I dont understand is how family and friends can be so cold…with their actions, words and lack of acceptance, validation, kindness or support, yet claim they love you. Bloggers like you gave us new hope and go with the life. Human beings are a social species, and yet, every one of us feels, on some level, like we just don’t fit in with everyone else. Sexually molested as a young girl, Emotionally and physically abused also. If you feel that nobody will ever love you, first of all, you are wrong. I’m kind believe in unconditional love, I’m honest, trustworthy and used to be the first to offer help. Also, if they were so lonely, why didn’t they respond to texts, calls, emails, or mail? I feel alone even when I’m surrounded by people…. My voices are right about me,” remember that pretty much everyone feels this exact way at some point or another. I’ve tried meditation and stuff like that to clear my mind every day, but I just feel a bit too emotionally reactive. Completely alone . I just don’t get it. Men only want beautiful, perfect, pretty, stunning women – women like me, who can only look ok with makeup, don’t stand a chance in hell. I try to feel good about myself, but I feel like this article doesn’t apply to me. I knew that the next attack would be from my own family. People are always annoyed when I’m happy and tell me to stfu and I’m often forgotten about. I think the therapists need to concentrate less on what the victims are doing wrong and more on the people who make them victims. Why is this happening? If I am there, that’s fine. I always feel sad about myself. We can’t ignore reality and it is so painful. 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